The rules: Throw the iPod in shuffle mode. Play five songs. Review them during their duration. This is going to suck when I get to all those twenty-minute progressive rock songs that I own.

“9 of Disks” by Camper Van Beethoven from Telephone Free Landslide Victory

I think when I first heard this album, I describe a lot of the instrumentals as “gypsy ska”. I’m not sure who I described it to as that because I was living in Utah and made it a point to talk to as few people as possible. If you’ve been there, you understand why. Anyways, this song doesn’t hit me as gypsy ska. It is gypsy someting…just not ska. Very atonal and eastern sounding. I enjoy it quite a bit. Perhaps I should go back to smoking from my hooka and stealing babies.

“Climbing the Stairs” by Conflict from Conclusion

Ah yeah, anarcho two-tone music….or whatever this is supposed to be. I swear the horn section is just really bad synthesizers. Where you going to find crusty punks civilized enough to play the brass? This song isn’t bad, per se. It sounds like just about every other two-tone/ska song that already exists. I guess it is set apart because the lyrics are about anarchy rather than how important it is to press your black suit before a night of drinking and dancing. I can’t really imagine how those responsible for Crass could be duped into playing this kind of music. Though, I shouldn’t complain…it could be twenty minutes of feedback with Eve Libertine yelling about how much she hates high heels. So I guess this is a good news/bad news kind of song.

“Punk Rock Craze” by Nice View from Tomorrow Will Be Worse, Vol. 1 Compilation

Fast and buzzsaw-y. I dig this kind of stuff. Just not a lot to say about it or much time to say it in…

“Unemployment” by Dirt from Black and White

Yay, more crust punk. I really like the sound of this band. Guitar amps shot to hell, but better sounding than that awful Crass guitar tone. Drums so poorly recorded that the snare and kick sound the same. Mid-tempo beat with screamed lyrics. Awesome.

“Slippery Toys” by Confederate Fagg from Rock N Roll Hall of Flame

This is a heavy metal band with lyrics touching on homosexuality sung by a straight guy…I don’t know if that is offensive or not…I mean a straight guy singing about being gay. Pretty much the point of this band was to comment on all the homosexual undertones in heavy metal and bring them to the forefront of a music scene that is pretty homophobic. As far as the music goes, it is pretty 80’s glamrock…which, if you’re me, is not a good thing. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to this entire album. There are only so many five-minute guitar solos that I can take before I feel violent. But I love the concept of this band.