The rules: Throw the iPod in shuffle mode. Play five songs. Review them during their duration. This is going to suck when I get to all those twenty-minute progressive rock songs that I own.

Everyday Life by the Subhumans (UK) from Time Flies…But Aeroplanes Crash

I’m going to guess I’m not going to really like this song as is the case with most Subhumans songs. And yet I own like five of their albums. Go figure. This is a live version which means I probably have this song twice in my collection. This excess of Subhumans songs in my possession makes me a little sad. Tear.

San Quentin by Johnny Cash from At San Quentin

This is an amazing album. And this is an awesome song. So awesome in fact that Johnny Cash plays this song twice in a row. I’m not sure how a riot didn’t break out. “Hey, I know it sucks being in prison. Here is a song about how much the prison you’re in right now sucks. It sucks so bad I’m going to sing about it twice in a row.” Hot damn, that is balls. However, I do wonder if Cash would sing this song at all the prisons he did concerts at and would just switch the San Quentin for the name of whatever prison he was singing at. It’s a credible theory. He doesn’t rhyme anything with Quentin. And there are a lot of words that rhyme with it. Explanation: Cash wanted to be able to change the name of the prison to fit where he was at without having to worry about rhyme scheme. Pure. Logic. Now about the last minute of this track is Cash asking favors from the guards that he just thoroughly pissed off. Balls, I say.

Evolution by the Subhumans (UK) from Evolution

See. I wasn’t lying about all those nasty Subhumans songs. I listen to five random songs out of over seven thousand and two of them are Subhumans songs. I guess I can be at peace that this is the UK Subhumans and not the Canadian Subhumans. Oh, but this song. It sounds like a punk band covering some fifties rock ‘n’ roll song with a little Dead Kennedys thrown in. Um…not all that entertaining.

Good Times, Good Tunes, Good Buds by Reggie And The Full Effect from Promotional Copy

Full on metal with keyboards doing electronica and record scratching; which is totally what you should expect from a band that usually churns out pop punk/emo. Though, the vocals do remain true to the pop punk/emo aesthetic the music is just out of control. I mean, imagine Yellow Card doing Rage Against The Machine and it actually being good.

Shrivel-Up by Devo from Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!

This song is perverse. It’s about testicles, urination, male prostitution, and fecophilia. Think about it. Shrivel Up? Clearly talking about a cold, shriveled scrotum. “Buy’em buy the sack?” They ain’t singing about grocery sacks boy-o! They sing about how society dictates one to hold everything in and not get pissed. So what’s the opposite of that? Letting it go and all hang out…public nudity and urination. “Gotta pooty poo poo?” Do I need to explain that. Just plain filth! No wonder my parents thought MTV is evil. On the other hand, I think it is totally awesome the Devo repackaged this kind of filth with Mickey Mouse ears and kids singing it.